Big Box Store Shopping, Dubai Style

Let me start this post by declaring that it should be illegal to shop at IKEA if you can't prove that you have a car or similarly reliable mode of transport.

If this were so, Rob and I would have been forbidden from lugging several heavy, awkward boxes from the bus to the metro to another bus to home last week. We even inexplicably ended up lost at the airport at one point.

I've provided a handy map of Dubai to give you an idea of the proximity (or lack thereof) of IKEA to where we live:

In case you're wondering, IKEA here is exactly like IKEA at home except there are even more people, which translates into even more kids running unrestrained through the store. I didn't think it was even possible. And those little arrows on the ground? Nobody cares and nobody follows them. I felt like a salmon swimming up river for most of the trip.

Naturally, like anyone complaining about IKEA, I know that even in Dubai, it's the place to go for cheap things that will look great in our apartment for the years we're here.

Love to hate the Swedish and their crafty and stylish, yet affordable housewares.

The upside is that we found a Belgian bar with fantastic beer and even better live music, right on Dubai creek. It was good fuel for the remainder of the seemingly endless journey home.

Here's a photo of one of our purchases in the living room. Carrying this one was obviously Rob's job :)

I'll be putting up photos of the entire apartment soon!

Things that would never fly at home...

I like to think that we're acclimating nicely--maybe even faster than average. But there are things that happen on a daily basis here in Dubai that I still can't accept; things that my upbringing in the states has taught me are amiss. I'm well aware that many things in America are frowned upon here (pork, short skirts with Uggs, and the 2nd amendment, just to name a few) but I'll share some of my observations anyway:

1. Burping/spitting
There is seriously little or no effort to hide bodily functions here. This is true for burping on the crowded metro or hawking massive loogies precious inches from another person's feet as they stroll down the street (I've almost been hit more times than I can count. It's gross.)

2. Cell phone etiquette
I understand this is an area where we're faltering at home, but it's brought to a new level here. I saw a butcher talking on his phone while butchering meat for a customer. Our bus driver to Hatta--the man operating an 11 ton vehicle full of passengers--enjoyed a conversation that must have lasted at least 30 minutes. The other night, our Pakistani taxi driver called his wife in Mexico when he found out I speak Spanish. This was disturbing on two levels: 1) My taxi driver was dialing his wife halfway across the world when he should have been navigating roads that by my account are some of the world's most dangerous, and 2) I had to speak with his wife in Spanish, which was weird because I don't know her and also because I never thought I'd use my Spanish here, especially in the back of a taxi.

3. Littering
I know this isn't unique to Dubai, but I'll never get used to people just throwing their trash on the ground. Water bottles, cigarette boxes, candy wrappers, whatever. This place has the ingredients for a litter bug-free country: plenty of trash cans and a populace that walks a lot. In my experience they just prefer walking away from trash cans. The city stays shockingly clean, however, because of how many people are hired to clean up after the many litter bugs.

4. "Massages"
We find these little cards under our door a few times each week and started saving them because they make us laugh. They're discreet little ads for massages that almost always feature a sexy Asian lady and offer "door to door service." I, like you, am becoming increasingly suspect and while I'm not certain of my suspicions, I'll probably get angry if Rob ever orders one.

I put my favorite on top. "The best way for relaxing and enjoyment in the town" has "perfectional girls" and "collage girls" available!

Anniversary trip to the Mountains

Phew, one year already! Time, it flies. To celebrate, we thought it would be great to leave the city for a getaway. After all, what better way to commemorate being in a country we never thought we'd live in than going to a place we never knew existed?

We chose Hatta, a smaller-than-we-anticipated town an hour from Dubai (or for people like us, two hours on the public bus.) We got to cross the border into Oman even though Hatta is technically in the emirate of Dubai. Surrounded by mountains and without one building exceeding three stories, the place couldn't be more different from the Dubai we know.

We visited Heritage Village, a restored "historical park" that portrays life in the old days (featuring scary mannequins) and from there we climbed to towers that were once used to watch for invaders. This history nerd was disappointed (as much as Rob was relieved) that not one of the informational videos worked. Colonial Williamsburg it definitely was not.

We stayed at the Hatta Fort Hotel, the best (and only) gig in town.

We were really impressed with the service, from the restaurants to the front desk to the kind man who told us he'd pick us up from Heritage Village after one hour because that's all the time you need there (thank you sir!!) There's really nowhere to eat in Hatta (except Popeye's Chicken. What remote Arab village is complete without an American fried chicken joint?,) so we bit the bullet for what we were sure would be a hotel meal average in quality but crazy in price. We ordered Chicken Tikka Masala and Fish Biryani (when in Rome!) and it was one of the best meals we've had since we've been here. There was even a tuxedo-wearing maitre d' who made table side Caesar salads and a singer whose repertoire including everything from Tony Bennet to Maroon 5. Unfortunately, she didn't know our wedding song...I asked when I followed her to saw her in the restroom.

Aside from the gale force winds that were pretty much constant from the time we got there until the time we left, the trip was perfect. And what's a little sand in the mouth and eyes when you're with the one you love?

Day at the Souks

Souk is the the term for marketplace here in the Middle East. Thanks to Hollywood, my idea of a souk was that of a wide open, romantic space with a wood roof, filled with stalls and beautiful, exotic, and affordable goods for sale. Something like this, maybe:

The souks of the movies do exist (this one is in a hotel by the beach,) but it's not the real deal. We prefer the souks that simply look like run-down stores, offering everything from textiles to gold to shoes. The movies don’t touch on the guys getting in your face every 15 seconds offering “handbags, watches, pashminas, ma’am, sir,” putting their hands all over you (if you’re a man) and ushering you into their questionable stores, almost always down a darkish alley.

Not exactly the romantic ‘Carrie Bradshaw shopping in Abu Dhabi in Sex and the City 2’ experience I had anticipated, but still the best place to get cool Arabian-looking goods (most likely made in India.) The souk we went to is in Bur Dubai, the city’s oldest neighborhood and one that feels the most like Arabia of anywhere in this modern, over-the-top place.

As part of my unceasing effort to decorate our empty apartment, I’ve had my eye on these handmade Moroccan lamps pretty much since we touched ground here in Dubai. Now, if there is one rule at the souks, it’s that it is expected that you bargain with the vendors. Unfortunately, I just might happen to be the worst bargainer on the planet, so we had our work cut out for us. In the end, we scored a fabulous lamp through our hard-nosed, relentless bargaining skills (read: Rob bargaining and me standing in the corner pretending to pick out a Burj al Arab paperweight.)

And then we found this, and it was too awesome not to document. Short months ago I would have laughed condescendingly at a couple of Americans taking pictures in front of a tiny, cheap, out-of-place Statue of Liberty. Maybe homesickness does funny things to a person, but let the record show that we had to wait in a relatively long line to get this photo. Lady Liberty was by far the most popular fake landmark there.

PS. I've heard complaints from some of you who can't post comments, and I think I've fixed the issue, but let me know if not. Thank you for reading!

Happy news

I came home from the gym to three men I didn't know in our apartment (this is all too common here) but this time they weren't installing ugly curtains or drilling needless holes in the ceiling.

They were installing cable! Cable people!

Now, I'm not usually a huge television person. But the thought of watching something besides free pilots downloaded from iTunes is too exciting not to share.

When I ceremoniously flipped on the TV for the first time, the Kardashians were on! I've never felt more at home in our new home! I took a shower, and when I got out, I actually peaked my head around the corner to be sure that the TV was still working. It wasn't of course, but it came back on soon enough. And now I've been watching a solid HOUR of television! Three and a Half Men (not so good--obviously my standards have dwindled), The Daily Show, and now The Colbert Report.

Life is good.

As I have spent the whole day feeling jealous about the Downton Abbey Season 3 premiere at home, timing couldn't be more perfect.

The Things I Wear....

A lot of people have asked me about what is appropriate for women to wear here, so I thought I'd address that today.

I continue to be surprised by how westernized this country is. There are women who dress traditionally--in abayas and hijabs--but they are most definitely the minority. This sign is not uncommon, especially at the malls:

And the rules are enforced. We saw a woman who was asked to change her clothes on New Year's Eve. She was wearing a long, white lace dress that would have been offensive in Cancun during spring break, to say nothing of the Middle East.

For me, dress depends largely on the neighborhood I'm in. In the Marina, where Rob works, I could walk around in a loin cloth and people wouldn't look twice. In our neighborhood, people would stare if I went out in a moo moo and a snow jacket.

On my first day in Dubai, I was fully covered. That lasted all of about three hours. Now, I follow a general rule. I keep either my legs or my shoulders covered, but rarely both. I made this up and it is based on no precedent but it seems to work for me just fine. For example, if I'm wearing a dress or skirt above my knees, I'll wear a sweater or jean jacket. If I'm wearing jeans, anything goes (within reason--no sports bras or belly tops, and you all know how l love going out in those.) If I feel like I'm not covered enough, I'll find a scantily clad woman (there's always one in the crowd!) and follow her around.

At the pool or the beach, anything goes. I have yet to see the famous "burkini" but Rob saw one, so we know they're more than just legend:

At least she doesn't have to worry about tan lines!

I anticipate that as temperatures climb well past 100 degrees in a couple of months, I'll abandon my rule and pull the loin cloths from the back of my closet.